Wednesday, March 26, 2008

homesick... :(

Yesterday I got so incredibly homesick. I was out doing errands and it just hit me out of nowhere. I get homesick sometimes, which is totally normal, but this hit me hard and strong. Like, I was ready to pack up my car and start driving east. I don't know if it was the warm weather and the country music I was listening to or what, but I wanted to be in Snellville, Georgia right then. I'm still feeling a little homesick, but I'm going home in about a month and I think that will definitely help. Until then, I have school and 2 jobs to keep me busy.

On a different note... I hate technology. In the past week, 3 things that I have a hard time living without have gone down the crapper. First, my phone. Unless the charger is at a specific angle, it won't charge. Because I can't stand there, holding my phone for 2 hours while I wait for it to charge, I've been using my old phone that's a total piece of crap. No games, no nothing. Only calls and very limited texting. So lame. Second, my iHome is pretty much dead. It still plays my iPod, but it decided to reset itself and when that happened, the clock died. I can no longer reset it, which means I can't set my alarm (and I don't have a sell phone to use either), I can't change the radio station... Basically it plays my iPod. I'm not complaining about that, but I really need the clock. And last but not least... today my computer died. It was working just fine until the power went out. Now it won't turn back on. I called the HP technical support and they brought me through some steps of unplugging and plugging things in. In the end, it was determined that the mother board is to blame. So I am without my computer for a couple of weeks. I only got the computer 7 months ago so unless the mother board has to be replaced, the repairs are covered under the warranty. Yea! FYI, using my roommates computer :)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Blonde Joke

I got this joke in an e-mail from my mom a couple of weeks ago. I decided I need to share it with everyone.

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

20 Years


20 years ago today, my brother, Sean, died of cancer. I never really knew him because I wasn't even 3 years old when he passed away. But I love him and I know he's in heaven watching down on me everyday.
A few years ago, I took an English Composition class at Georgia State. One paper we had to write was a reflective paper. I chose to write about Sean. I have kept that paper since I wrote it and I would like to share it. It's a bit long, but I think it's worth the time.
A Fairy Princess
I always dreaded the end of the English semester in high school. It meant that it was time to write the personal essay. Each time I wanted desperately to write about my deceased brother, Sean, but I never could think of how to start my essay or what I should tell my audience about my brother. Because of the way my parents described him to me, I had him on a pedestal. They always talked about how much he loved me and wanted me by his side when he was in the hospital. Whenever he played Atari, he would sit me in his lap. Nothing I wrote ever seemed enough for him. My papers did not do him the justice he deserved from me. If it did, it made me too emotional and tears covered my paper by the time I was finished with the rough draft, so I would pick a different topic. One time I wrote about telling my best friend’s parents that she was experimenting with illegal drugs. Another time I wrote about my first date with my current boyfriend. The topics were interesting for me, and I had no problem writing them; however, I did not have the distance that I needed to write a good, solid essay. I had the distance I needed to write about Sean, but I was not emotionally ready.

A child’s first trip to Disney World is supposed to be the most magical moment in their childhood. I know at the time I went, it was the most magical moment. I was going to meet Mickey Mouse! Looking back, I would give anything for my first trip to have come in seventh grade when I went with my friend Valerie. If that had been my first trip, it would mean that my brother would still be here. I lived in Portland, Maine until I was eight, so the only reason my family was able to go to Disney World was that we went free; well, at the expense of losing my brother, Sean, to Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a serious form of cancer, just a couple of months later. The Maine Children’s Cancer Program had a special for families who were struggling with a cancer patient: if you used their services, they promised you a trip Disney World with all expenses covered. The only things families had to pay for were the souvenirs.
I still remember the plane ride to Florida. It was a small plane and seated only about a dozen people; being that I was only two, it was the biggest plane in the world. Sean continuously tried to see out the window, but I kept blocking his view. I wish now that I had let him since I have flown in a window seat several times since going to Disney World. Being so young, it was surprising for my parents that I was not fazed at all that I was thousands of feet in the air. I could see everything out the window. I felt that I was on top of the world. Unfortunately, the plane ride ended a couple hours later, and I was back on the ground.
When I saw Cinderella’s Castle in the distance, I got over the disappointment of being back on the ground. Instead of feeling as if I was on top of the world, I felt like a fairy princess, and that was an even better feeling. My mom pushed me in my stroller through the front gate of Disney World. Sean was by my side in his wheel chair that my dad was pushing. What I felt at that very moment was indescribable. So many emotions filled my head – I was at Disney World and this was where Mickey Mouse lived. I could not have been more excited!
I started to cry as my mom pushed me away from the castle. I cried, pointed, and screamed as loud as I could until my parents got the message – I would not go anywhere until I met Cinderella at Cinderella’s Castle. Against my brother’s wishes (he wanted to go to Thunder Mountain), our first stop became Cinderella’s Castle. She and her castle were so beautiful. I felt like I was in the movie with her as I was pushed through the stone halls.
The next characters I met were Chip and Dale. This was great for Sean because they were his favorite Disney characters. When we stopped to get something to eat, the two chipmunks were at the restaurant. I was as excited as Sean. So many times I sat with him in my grandparents’ living room and watched Chip ‘n’ Dale on TV. Now they were standing in front of us. When they got to the table where I was sitting with my family, I could hardly sit still. My mom finally gave up on trying to keep me seated, so I ran to Dale. He was my favorite of the two because he had a red nose and I had red hair. I gave him a huge hug, and he hugged me back. It was even better then when I met Cinderella. Sean and Shannon, my sister, ran to Chip because he was their favorite. When we sat back down at the table, my mom took pictures to remember the event.
Our next stop was the hotel where we would be staying for the next couple of days. We stayed there for the rest of the day so Sean could rest. Since I was only two, I did not understand why I could not go back to the park to meet more of my favorite Disney stars.
I soon forgot about my self-pity as my mom brought me down to the pool. I felt so big sitting on the side of the pool. My mom forgot to pack floaties for me so I sat there and she held me, but I did not mind. I was swimming without the use of air-filled plastic, and that meant that I was a big girl.
The next day was our trip to the Pirates of the Caribbean. I was so excited. Many times I had watched the Disney sing-a-long video with Sean that had “A Pirate’s Life for Me” on it, and now I was to see it in person. As soon as my little ears heard “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me,” a smile came to my face and did not leave the entire time I was on the ride. My mom was surprised, as she thought most two year olds would be terrified of all the pirate paraphernalia. But not me. I was brave because Sean was holding my hand. I loved all the pirates with the black patches over their eyes and the parrots on their shoulders. It was so real to me. As the song played in the cave, Sean sang it in my ear. I was having the time of my life.

Reflecting back on my brother, I realize that none of the above memories is mine. My mother or my father, or even my sister, has told them all to me. No memories of my deceased brother are mine. For so many years I have been told different stories of Sean that I have come to believe that they are my own memories to share, even all the times I have said, “I remember sitting in Sean’s lap while he played Atari…” Those are not my memories.
I do have one vivid memory of Sean. It is not one I share very often, as it is not a happy memory. In my house in Maine, a short hallway consisted of three doors. Straight ahead was the door that led to the bedroom that I shared with my sister. On the right was the door to the closet where my mother stored her clothes. On the left was Sean’s bedroom that became mine after he died. I do not remember what time of day it was or what time of year it was, but I know the room was dark so Sean could sleep. I remember a small amount of light in the room that most likely came from the lamp that was next to his bed. The humidifier was in there, and it was on. I know because I remember the steam rising up in the air. Someone I did not know was sitting in a chair by the bed on which my brother slept. I am assuming that it was a nurse. The bed was right in front of the door so Sean could be reached easily if he needed assistance. I was standing outside in the hall. Although I know someone was there with me, I do not know who it was. Whether it was a neighbor, my sister, a parent, or a relative, I honestly could not tell you. I do not know if Sean was actually sleeping or if he had already passed on. I only have that very vivid picture painted in my mind to know that Sean Kenneth Regan was a real person who lived to be only seven years old.
For my own sake of wanting closure, I wish that he had already passed on. It sounds selfish and cruel, but he was so sick. Looking at pictures, he had no hair, he had gained so much weight from his chemotherapy treatments and medicines, and he was very pale. The doctors thought that he was going to pass away in the summer of 1987 but he did not until March of 1988. Living for eight more months made him even sicker. If I knew for a fact that Sean had already died, that would mean that I was with him when he took his last few breaths. If he really loved me as much as my parents have told me, then I would have the closure I need from that part of my life knowing that I was by his side when he passed on.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Across the Universe

I wasn't going to blog about this musical movie, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am absolutely in love with it! You have to approach it with an open mind, otherwise you'll be completely disappointed. It's the story of Jude (Jim Sturgess) who leaves England to go to America to meet his biological father during the Vietnam War. While he's there, he meets Max (Joe Anderson), a student at Princeton. They fast become friends. Over Thanksgiving, Jude goes home with Max to celebrate. During this time, Jude meets Max's sister, Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood). While at home, Max decides to drop out of school then he and Jude move to New York. Because he's no longer in school, Max gets drafted into the army. Jude and Lucy have started dating. Things start to get complicated when Lucy starts going to anti-war rallies to protest the war, and Jude stays home to works on his art as his way of protesting. Throughout all of this is the amazing music of the Beatles (I hope you picked up on that from the names of the characters [Hey, Jude, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Maxwell's Silver Hammer]). The soundtrack is just incredible! All the leads have great voices plus smaller parts played by people who made it in the business by being singers. There's small bit roles played by the amazing Bono, Joe Cocker, Salma Hayek and Eddie Izzard.

But like I said, watch it with an open mind. The late 60s and 70s are known for being a bit out there and there are parts of this movie that are definitely out there. It's mostly the part with Eddie Izzard as Mr. Kite while singing "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite." There's a line in the song about blue people and there are blue people in the movie. It reminded me a lot of a Tim Burton movie at the point (think Big Fish). But also be aware that it is rated PG-13 for good reason - there is nudity, language, sex, drugs, and of course the violence seen during the war scene.

On a different note, I really want to pick Paul McCartney's brain about this movie. My number one question: "Is that what John and you saw while writing "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite"?"

I now present...

My mom has been begging me for months to post pictures of my room. She visited me in October, just after I moved into the house. However, not long after that, I decided my room needed a makeover. So for under $100, my room looks brand new and I love it! The colors are black and white. I'm lucky that the walls in my room were already painted grey so everything fits together so nicely! :)
Here is a view of the bookshelf I bought at Big Lots. It was on sale for $25. It has more shelves than the bookshelf I had before so I can actually fit all my books on it and then some.







And here's my bed with the new bedding. I bought it at Ikea (love that store!) for $30. The comforter is actually just a quilt cover and for $40 more, I can buy the quilt that was made for it, but for now I'll stick to putting my old comforter in it instead. As for the curtains, I bought that fabric during Halloween so it's way cheap cotume fabric. For the fabric and the 2 curtain rods, I spend about $25. (Yes, mom, I do open the curtains to let in the sun light :) )

This dresser is new to me, but it actually belonged to one of my roommates. I hang up the majority of my clothes so I didn't really need the big dresser I had. As for my roommate, she has started using shelves on her bookshelf to keep her clothes. So, we traded dressers. It was actually a cream color that I painted white. The paint cost about $5 at Wal-Mart. And yes, my bedroom is right off the living room. The brown door seen in the pictures of the living room is the door to my room.


If I did my calculations right (which I probably didn't), I spent around $85 to give my room a makeover. And I think it's just perfect!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Stolen From My Sister...

Take the topic, type it into google image search and post the first picture that comes up!

Occupation (care giver)


Favorite Food (chicken and rice)

A hobby (singing)

Favorite Animal (tiger)


A Favorite Place (Ireland)


Where I Live (Salt Lake City, Utah)


Favorite Holiday (St. Patrick's Day)

College Major (Theater)


(History)


Age I'll Be Next Birthday (23)


Birthday Month (June - I'm leaving this one blank... the first page was all women in bikinis)


Place I Want to Visit (a movie set)


Sunday, February 17, 2008

Dear Frankie

Dear Frankie is such a great movie! I watched it a couple of days ago and was very impressed. For the females, there's Gerard Butler. For the males, there's Emily Mortimer. For everybody, the little kid who plays Frankie is adorable and does a fantastic job as a 9-year-old de(a)f boy (once you watch the movie, the parentheses will make sense). It's rated PG-13 for language. And by language, they mean brief strong language. Everything about this movie could appear on TV unedited except for the hostpital scene where the f-bomb is dropped. It was unnecessary to be said, but the scene is very important to understand the character of Lizzie. And there I go analyzing characters. Dang devoting my life to theater! I can't even recommend a movie without ripping it apart.

And that so reminds me... Friday night on CBS, Celine Dion had a concert. I watched it because I knew Josh Groban would be singing with her and I was so curious. For those of you who don't know, when Josh was just 17 and didn't even have a record contract yet, he replaced Andrea Bocelli at rehearsals for the Grammys. The song he sang was "The Prayer." Such a beautiful song. Anyway... Celine Dion recorded it with Andrea Bocelli. Josh Groban recorded it with Charlotte Church. I've always wanted to hear Celine and Josh sing it together and that opportunity came on Friday night. But did I get to enjoy it? No! At least not in a way that I should have. Why? Because of theater! Both of them were using their downstage hands to hold their microphones, blocking off their bodies. A huge no-no in theater. So as they're singing, that is the only thing I can focus on. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Good thing they did a studio recording that will be released so I can actually enjoy it the way I want to.

And that's my ranting and raving and recommendations for the day. :)

Ode to Maxine

For those of you who don't know, Maxine is a cartoon that tells us like it is. For example, the cartoon for the day on my calendar is a picture of her in her car with a quote that says, "I can't use a cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures." Well, Maxine made my day the other day (it was Valentine's Day...). For the 21st time in my life, I was alone without a valentine on Valentine's Day. But Maxine made that a-okay. Why? The cartoon for the day said, "It's Valentine's Day for all of you romantics. For me, it's the day before chocolate goes on sale." Amen, Maxine!

To find out more about my favorite cartoon, you can visit her at maxine.com.

The Three Minute Miracle

It actually works! So what am I talking about? Let me tell you!

I have dry hair. When I moved to Utah, it got even drier. And with the winter months lacking any humidity whatsoever, there is absolutely no moisture in my hair. I'm always on the look out for deep conditioning treatments that don't require me to go to a salon and spend 20 bucks. So, the other day (and by the other day, I mean about 2 weeks ago) I was at Wal-Mart looking to see if there was anything new to try. And that is when I found Aussie 3 Minute Miracle. I have never been so impressed with my hair. It was so soft and pretty! And it really only took 3 minutes to work. The best part? It was only about $4. Plus, it's not just for one treatment. I'll probably get about 10 treatments out of the bottle. It all depends on how much hair you have.


And this is my three minute miracle moment :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I can't sleep...

I'm usually in bed by now. I work at 6 in the morning and I like to get as much sleep as possible. But for some reason, the past few nights, sleep has been impossible to come by. I toss and turn. I read. I play games on my phone. Then I toss and turn some mose. Then when I finally get to that deep sleep where you get to dream, my alarm goes off. I just don't get it. Nothing has changed dramatically in my life. School is the same. Work is the same. Family is the same. Friends are the same. Not to say that my life is the same day after day. But nothing extremely unusual has happened. Maybe it's the piano. That's been the only big change in my life. But shouldn't that be for the better? I like to play when I'm stressed or I need a break from homework. So I doubt it's the piano. And it can't be the flat tire I got yesterday. The lack of sleeping thing started before that. Oh yeah. The flat tire thing. Things were going too well in my life (besides the whole sleep thing). Something like a flat tire had to happen, right? And what good is AAA when they can't come change your flat for 3 hours! For the record, I know how to change a tire. My daddy taught me well. But this particular tire had been flat before and I'm pretty sure that when it was fixed, the mechanics used an air gun, or whatever it is called, to put the lug nuts back on. I could not get those things to budge! Luckily, I'm in a totally fabulous ward and a guy from it came to change my tire for me . :) Anyway, back to not sleeping... if anyone knows of any secrets that will help me get to sleep so I'm not wishing every minute of everyday that I'm not at home that I could be so I could just fall into my bed, let me know. Thanks. And good night! :)