Cutest Baby Ever!

I may be a little biased, but my best friend had a baby about 3 months ago and I finally got to meet him when I went home! It took me less than .2 seconds to fall in love with him. He's so cute! He loves to watch tv, not kidding. I've never seen a baby pay so much attention to a tv. He has the cutest baby tummy I've ever seen. I just wanted to eat him up!

Pain in my butt...

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing." ~Sean Bean as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

What is that, you wonder? And why did I quote Boromir? That is a piece of photo paper, smaller than a pen. It didn't cause so much fear and doubt as it did anger and annoyance. Here's what happened...

When I got home from my trip, I wanted to print out a couple of pictures. I have the fun little photo printer dock for my camera that up until now, I absolutely loved. The photo paper that it uses has edges that you pull off after the picture has printed. Well, this lovely little piece of paper ripped off into my printer! I thought I would just be able to pull it out. But no! I had to take apart the entire printer! And even then, I had to dig out my tweezers. It took me almost an hour to get out this tiny peice of paper. I was not happy. But in happier news, my photo printer now works better than it ever has!

Who says you can't go home?

I do! Why? Because when I went home, I packed up the rest of the bedroom that I spent over 10 years in. But that aside, I had a great time going home this past week. I got to see my parents, visit with friends, go to a Braves game and make it onto SportsCenter.

My dad and I got front row seats in center field. They were great seats. I would definitely sit there again. As for making it onto SportsCenter... Chipper Jones hit a home run right down the center and the guy who caught the ball was sitting next to us. When the hit was shown on SportsCenter, you could see my dad and I in the background. May not sound that exciting to you, but I think it's very exciting. :)

Medical Terms

I got this from a coworker and I just had to share. Some are funnier than others...

benign - what you be after you be eight
artery - the study of paintings
bacteria - back door to cafeteria
barium - what doctors do when patients die
cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome
catscan - searching for kitty
cauterize - made eye contact with her
colic - a sheep dog
coma - a punctuation mark
D&C - where Washington is
dilate - to live long
enema - not a friend
fester - quicker than someone else
node - was aware of
outpatient - a person who has fainted
pap smear - a fatherhood test
pelvis - cousin of Elvis
post operative - a letter carrier
recovery room - place to do upholstery
rectum - darn near killed him
secretion - hiding something
seizure - Roman emperor
tablet - a small table
terminal illness - getting sick at the bus station
tumor - more than one
urine - opposite of you're out
varicose - near by/close by
vein - conceited

Random Thoughts

I got my computer back today! Yea! It ended up not being the mother board at all. That's what you get from talking to people on the phone that only use a computer at work to answer your questions about your broken computer! Not much help at all. Turns out that the power button was jammed and just had to be reset. I could have done that! Instead I was 2 weeks without my computer. No fun! But now it's back and it's working just great. :)

The other day at work (the retirement home) I went in to a room to wake up a resident so she could get ready for breakfast. This is how the conversation went...

Me - Good morning!
Resident - What the hell do you want?
Me - I was just saying good morning so you can get up for breakfast.
Resident - Oh! Good morning! See you in the dining room.

I guess you had to be there to think it was as funny as I do. That also came just a few days after I was helping another resident in the shower and she told me I was "a hell of a person to be working with old people." She wasn't happy that I was making her take a shower. Once the water turned off she was telling me I had beautiful hair and such a sweet smile.

Baseball

I'm so excited that baseball season is here! Everyone knows I love the Braves. I just can't help myself. And I also follow the Red Sox. And the Yankees, but only to make sure things aren't going well for them. I still haven't decided who I hate more, the Yankees or Barry Bonds. It's such a close call. Anyway... I can't wait to go home next month and go to a game. There's just something about the atmosphere at Turner Field that I love. It really makes me feel like I'm home. I'm still adjusting to not having Andruw Jones in centerfield. He's always been there! Yes, he's really sucked behind the plate the past few seasons, but it doesn't change the fact that he's one of the best centerfielders that baseball has ever seen. Moving on... even though both of my teams have a losing record as of right now (3-4 for both), the season just started and I'm looking foward to the post season for both the Braves and the Red Sox.

Oh, and a side note. I saw Joe Torre (former Yankees manager) on Jay Leno. I knew he was recruited by and played for the Braves, but because he managed the Yankees for so long, I had to hate him. But he said on Jay Leno that growing up, he hated the Yankees! How great is that?! I really should have been more forgiving before that statement of his management position seeing that Bobby Cox (the Braves manager) used to play for the Yankees. But then again, I love being a fan of the team with the most ejected manager in major league history! :)

It's about time!

Back in August of last year I saw Josh Groban in concert. Between the opening act and the beginning of his show, it was announced that they were filming for the release of the DVD for his Awake tour. I've been waiting and waiting for the DVD to come out and I finally have a date to look forward to, May 6! I'm so excited. I'll be home in Georgia that day so I'll have to down time to watch it. Yea! I can't wait!

homesick... :(

Yesterday I got so incredibly homesick. I was out doing errands and it just hit me out of nowhere. I get homesick sometimes, which is totally normal, but this hit me hard and strong. Like, I was ready to pack up my car and start driving east. I don't know if it was the warm weather and the country music I was listening to or what, but I wanted to be in Snellville, Georgia right then. I'm still feeling a little homesick, but I'm going home in about a month and I think that will definitely help. Until then, I have school and 2 jobs to keep me busy.

On a different note... I hate technology. In the past week, 3 things that I have a hard time living without have gone down the crapper. First, my phone. Unless the charger is at a specific angle, it won't charge. Because I can't stand there, holding my phone for 2 hours while I wait for it to charge, I've been using my old phone that's a total piece of crap. No games, no nothing. Only calls and very limited texting. So lame. Second, my iHome is pretty much dead. It still plays my iPod, but it decided to reset itself and when that happened, the clock died. I can no longer reset it, which means I can't set my alarm (and I don't have a sell phone to use either), I can't change the radio station... Basically it plays my iPod. I'm not complaining about that, but I really need the clock. And last but not least... today my computer died. It was working just fine until the power went out. Now it won't turn back on. I called the HP technical support and they brought me through some steps of unplugging and plugging things in. In the end, it was determined that the mother board is to blame. So I am without my computer for a couple of weeks. I only got the computer 7 months ago so unless the mother board has to be replaced, the repairs are covered under the warranty. Yea! FYI, using my roommates computer :)

Blonde Joke

I got this joke in an e-mail from my mom a couple of weeks ago. I decided I need to share it with everyone.

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money.

20 Years

20 years ago today, my brother, Sean, died of cancer. I never really knew him because I wasn't even 3 years old when he passed away. But I love him and I know he's in heaven watching down on me everyday.

A few years ago, I took an English Composition class at Georgia State. One paper we had to write was a reflective paper. I chose to write about Sean. I have kept that paper since I wrote it and I would like to share it. It's a bit long, but I think it's worth the time.

A Fairy Princess
I always dreaded the end of the English semester in high school. It meant that it was time to write the personal essay. Each time I wanted desperately to write about my deceased brother, Sean, but I never could think of how to start my essay or what I should tell my audience about my brother. Because of the way my parents described him to me, I had him on a pedestal. They always talked about how much he loved me and wanted me by his side when he was in the hospital. Whenever he played Atari, he would sit me in his lap. Nothing I wrote ever seemed enough for him. My papers did not do him the justice he deserved from me. If it did, it made me too emotional and tears covered my paper by the time I was finished with the rough draft, so I would pick a different topic. One time I wrote about telling my best friend’s parents that she was experimenting with illegal drugs. Another time I wrote about my first date with my current boyfriend. The topics were interesting for me, and I had no problem writing them; however, I did not have the distance that I needed to write a good, solid essay. I had the distance I needed to write about Sean, but I was not emotionally ready.

A child’s first trip to Disney World is supposed to be the most magical moment in their childhood. I know at the time I went, it was the most magical moment. I was going to meet Mickey Mouse! Looking back, I would give anything for my first trip to have come in seventh grade when I went with my friend Valerie. If that had been my first trip, it would mean that my brother would still be here. I lived in Portland, Maine until I was eight, so the only reason my family was able to go to Disney World was that we went free; well, at the expense of losing my brother, Sean, to Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a serious form of cancer, just a couple of months later. The Maine Children’s Cancer Program had a special for families who were struggling with a cancer patient: if you used their services, they promised you a trip Disney World with all expenses covered. The only things families had to pay for were the souvenirs.
I still remember the plane ride to Florida. It was a small plane and seated only about a dozen people; being that I was only two, it was the biggest plane in the world. Sean continuously tried to see out the window, but I kept blocking his view. I wish now that I had let him since I have flown in a window seat several times since going to Disney World. Being so young, it was surprising for my parents that I was not fazed at all that I was thousands of feet in the air. I could see everything out the window. I felt that I was on top of the world. Unfortunately, the plane ride ended a couple hours later, and I was back on the ground.
When I saw Cinderella’s Castle in the distance, I got over the disappointment of being back on the ground. Instead of feeling as if I was on top of the world, I felt like a fairy princess, and that was an even better feeling. My mom pushed me in my stroller through the front gate of Disney World. Sean was by my side in his wheel chair that my dad was pushing. What I felt at that very moment was indescribable. So many emotions filled my head – I was at Disney World and this was where Mickey Mouse lived. I could not have been more excited!
I started to cry as my mom pushed me away from the castle. I cried, pointed, and screamed as loud as I could until my parents got the message – I would not go anywhere until I met Cinderella at Cinderella’s Castle. Against my brother’s wishes (he wanted to go to Thunder Mountain), our first stop became Cinderella’s Castle. She and her castle were so beautiful. I felt like I was in the movie with her as I was pushed through the stone halls.
The next characters I met were Chip and Dale. This was great for Sean because they were his favorite Disney characters. When we stopped to get something to eat, the two chipmunks were at the restaurant. I was as excited as Sean. So many times I sat with him in my grandparents’ living room and watched Chip ‘n’ Dale on TV. Now they were standing in front of us. When they got to the table where I was sitting with my family, I could hardly sit still. My mom finally gave up on trying to keep me seated, so I ran to Dale. He was my favorite of the two because he had a red nose and I had red hair. I gave him a huge hug, and he hugged me back. It was even better then when I met Cinderella. Sean and Shannon, my sister, ran to Chip because he was their favorite. When we sat back down at the table, my mom took pictures to remember the event.
Our next stop was the hotel where we would be staying for the next couple of days. We stayed there for the rest of the day so Sean could rest. Since I was only two, I did not understand why I could not go back to the park to meet more of my favorite Disney stars.
I soon forgot about my self-pity as my mom brought me down to the pool. I felt so big sitting on the side of the pool. My mom forgot to pack floaties for me so I sat there and she held me, but I did not mind. I was swimming without the use of air-filled plastic, and that meant that I was a big girl.
The next day was our trip to the Pirates of the Caribbean. I was so excited. Many times I had watched the Disney sing-a-long video with Sean that had “A Pirate’s Life for Me” on it, and now I was to see it in person. As soon as my little ears heard “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me,” a smile came to my face and did not leave the entire time I was on the ride. My mom was surprised, as she thought most two year olds would be terrified of all the pirate paraphernalia. But not me. I was brave because Sean was holding my hand. I loved all the pirates with the black patches over their eyes and the parrots on their shoulders. It was so real to me. As the song played in the cave, Sean sang it in my ear. I was having the time of my life.

Reflecting back on my brother, I realize that none of the above memories is mine. My mother or my father, or even my sister, has told them all to me. No memories of my deceased brother are mine. For so many years I have been told different stories of Sean that I have come to believe that they are my own memories to share, even all the times I have said, “I remember sitting in Sean’s lap while he played Atari…” Those are not my memories.
I do have one vivid memory of Sean. It is not one I share very often, as it is not a happy memory. In my house in Maine, a short hallway consisted of three doors. Straight ahead was the door that led to the bedroom that I shared with my sister. On the right was the door to the closet where my mother stored her clothes. On the left was Sean’s bedroom that became mine after he died. I do not remember what time of day it was or what time of year it was, but I know the room was dark so Sean could sleep. I remember a small amount of light in the room that most likely came from the lamp that was next to his bed. The humidifier was in there, and it was on. I know because I remember the steam rising up in the air. Someone I did not know was sitting in a chair by the bed on which my brother slept. I am assuming that it was a nurse. The bed was right in front of the door so Sean could be reached easily if he needed assistance. I was standing outside in the hall. Although I know someone was there with me, I do not know who it was. Whether it was a neighbor, my sister, a parent, or a relative, I honestly could not tell you. I do not know if Sean was actually sleeping or if he had already passed on. I only have that very vivid picture painted in my mind to know that Sean Kenneth Regan was a real person who lived to be only seven years old.
For my own sake of wanting closure, I wish that he had already passed on. It sounds selfish and cruel, but he was so sick. Looking at pictures, he had no hair, he had gained so much weight from his chemotherapy treatments and medicines, and he was very pale. The doctors thought that he was going to pass away in the summer of 1987 but he did not until March of 1988. Living for eight more months made him even sicker. If I knew for a fact that Sean had already died, that would mean that I was with him when he took his last few breaths. If he really loved me as much as my parents have told me, then I would have the closure I need from that part of my life knowing that I was by his side when he passed on.